Archive for the ‘News’ Category

The Dawn of a New Day

Posted: March 4, 2014 by sloshhc in News

Following last weeks 6-3 victory over the Sharks. SLOSH Kapitan and GM Chris “O’Katsiris” O’Halloran was presented with the Presidents Trophy for the 2nd consecutive season.

Kapitan Chris "O'Katsiris" O'Halloran receiving the Presidents Trophy for the 2nd year running

Kapitan Chris “O’Katsiris” O’Halloran receiving the Presidents Trophy for the 2nd year running

Following the game, when interviewed, O’Halloran seemed very calm and nonchalant about the whole thing. “It’s about being something bigger than yourself” he said. Wise words from a man who took a rag-tag team to league champions 2 years running! Though you almost wonder, is there something else on the horizon…

It's about being something bigger than yourself

It’s about being something bigger than yourself

TSN: Oakville.

Since we’re a team based around the consumption of alcohol, what better way to feel good about ourselves than a little infograph showing proving that we are all geniuses!! Cheers to Beers!

Drunken Geniuses: Sharp as a Tack, Drunk as a Skunk
Image compliments of Best Masters Degrees

TSN UPDATE: SLOSH Inks new deal

Posted: February 13, 2012 by sloshhc in News

SLOSH Officials announced officially at 4:00pm that they have indeed signed Defensemen Chris Vilone and Jordan Katsiris for the 2012 Summer Season. Some of you may recall Katsiris as the original Drunken Ninja in SLOSH’s break-out season.

Fans are hoping these additions will help shape the dynamic of SLOSH on the road to glory. Memories of Katsiris’ monsterous slap shot, and stories of Vilone’s speed, agility, and all around hockey sense have social media on fire today!

“OMG SLOSH GOT VILONE!!!! He’s like sooo cute and prtty much my fav player ever” – Emma S, Twitter

“Guess now’s as good a time as any to splurge on extra protection… Katsiris is back!” – Every goalie in the league

TSN-Oakville.

After many great seasons of proudly wearing that glorious beer cup on their chests; SLOSH HC inaugural veteran’s David “Klutz” Kletz and Justin “McDiesel” McArthur have announced their retirement from the team.

At a recent press conference, a choked up Klutz stated “it is with great sadness that I must retire from the SLOSH organization, following this season I will be hanging up my skates, and saying goodbye to Lady SLOSH and #13”.

Fan Favourite and Local Celebrity, McDiesel also shocked the ASHL with the confirmation of his retirement as well. McDiesel, who fans have cherished as “Deezy” “Deezy F Baby” and “Mr. Boombastic”, hasn’t seen much ice time in the last two seasons. However will aways be remembered for his electrifying shot and ability to throw the body when push-comes-to-shove.

“Farewell gentlemen, we wish you the best in your future endeavours, and perhaps will see you at SLOSH HC Old Tymer games in the future. You will be missed!” – SLOSH HC

No word yet as to whether or not SLOSH will be retiring Numbers 13 and 24. GM Mark “Hurricane” Penelton was also unavailable to comment on who the organization is looking at to fill the voids in the roster for the Summer 2012 season. Stay tuned for updates!

TSN-Oakville

Greycup was this weekend!!! (But this was better!)

Posted: November 28, 2011 by sloshhc in News

In what I can only assume is the greatest old man fight to EVER occur, happened on Canadian soil this past weekend. Angelo Mosca and Joe Kapp went flower to cane, resulting in some surprisingly swift beatings!

Joe Kapp and Angelo Mosca get into a fight on stage at the 2011 CFL Alumni Legends Luncheon in Vancouver. It appears there is still some Bad blood between these two after a controversial hit on the field nearly 48 years ago.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaand we’re BACK!

Welcome, welcome back to SLOSH! It’s been a rough few weeks with no news or updates from our  favourite team . Although un-eventful for the most part, a few players have spiced things up a bit.

SLOSH’s own Jason “Juggernaut” Glover aka Juggernaut Jay-G has been busy in the studios throwing down a new hip hop album. The inspiration for this album was described as ” A mix between my resentments for the man, love for the game, and luscious locks that I’m sporting in protest until we pull out a win!”

Album is scheduled to drop upon SLOSH taking the championship…

Juggernaut’s teammates Mark “Hurricane” Penelton and Ryan “Rico” Hiscott stayed busy by inking modeling deals with  Abercrombie for their Holiday catalogue.

Abercrombie reps are reporting great excitement for this release!

Here at TMZ Oakville, we’d just like to say Welcome Back SLOSH! Hit that ice with a vengeance!

– TMZ Staff

TEAM NEWS: A Coach for the Ages!

Posted: April 28, 2011 by sloshhc in News

Good news! After loosing Coach Woo Jung-hai and being Coachless for an entire season… the SLOSH Organization has signed a new Head Coach!

Starting tomorrow, Coach Joseph (Giuseppe) Lagrasta will be providing insight, direction and guidance for this team.

When SLOSH Executives approached Mr. Lagrasta with the offer he responded with a smile “For sure, I yell at 11 year old little girls when I coach soccer… I’m sure I can handle some grown men playing hockey…”

“I vow to bring this team to the next level. This is a great group of guys with lots of potential, they just need someone to steer the ship!” Says Lagrasta in this mornings press conference.

“I’ll also be standing up for my guys, none of this Classic Ref Blindness will be tolerated when I’m on the bench!”

We welcome you Mr. Lagrasta and look forward to seeing how you mold this team!

-SLOSH Hockey Club.

OFFICIAL SLOSH CONTEST!: Name that (Pony)Tail!!

Posted: April 4, 2011 by sloshhc in News

As some of you may or may not know (you know now!!) SLOSH vet Lauren Guthrie will be returning along side Derek “Horatio” Laurendeau. Both players felt the need to test their skills in the KHL, and after dominating the league decided to come back for a challenge once again.

Why we’re focusing on Ms Guthrie here is she has neglected to provide a nickname! Those of you who know her and have seen her style of play have an unfair advantage, so we’ll wait until after the 2nd game to judge the entries. As a hint to you newcomers as to what you can expect, here’s a famous excerpt from playoffs in SLOSH’s inaugural season.

A player on the other team slu-foots her, she pulls a spin move while falling and two-hand slashes him in the back of the calves. He goes down hard, crying (no joke) while she gets up and chirps him saying “Stop crying, this is why I left girls hockey!”

BOOM! A legend was born!

TSN Update: SLOSH Trade Rumours

Posted: January 20, 2011 by sloshhc in News, Uncategorized

January 20, 2010 – 08:00

SLOSH GM Mark “Hurricane” Penelton called a press conference after his six day media shut-out. Many questions were thrown around the room, however next seasons roster seemed to stand out. The GTA Media has been trying to catch a glimpse of the roster next season ever since the All-Star break, when it was made aware that the entire team was headed towards free agent status.

“It’s been a tough negotiation period thus far, and I say thus far as this is an ongoing process. I’m sure you’re all aware of Hurricane, McDiesel, Pitt[BULL], Rico, and Juggernaut’s return. I’d like to take this opportunity to state we have come to an agreement with Coltrain and Showtime as well.”

SLOSH management has been taking some heat from the media lately for holding out on contract negotiations with fan favourite Kapitan Chris “Young Blood” O’Halloran. Rumours continue to build on the blogging circles “O’Halloran isn’t in it for the fans anymore, his head has swelled 10x since making the top 25 list at the beginning of the season” – Sportomatic, “I hope he stays, I’d really love to see him bring back that sexy mustache again too!” – PunkBunny86

Penelton shed some light on the contract negotiations by eluding that SLOSH would like to keep as much of the team together as possible, however he has confirmed that in the upcoming season Derek “Horatio” Laurendeau will be returning, taking the place of veteran David “Klutz” Kletz who has decided to take the season off to attend to personal matters.

Penelton took some heat for the 2 game losing streak SLOSH has been facing. He replied with a smile “I can assure you, we’ve shaken up the lines, and have our starting goalie back. You’ll see a new energy in this team tomorrow. The Devils won’t know what hit them!”

SLOSH remains undefeated this season in their match-ups with the Devils. Following the conference we ran into Greg “Showtime” Belina following practice, while looking like he was shaking off a bit of rust, he feels confident in the win “This is a non-issue. I will get the win. There is no if’s, and’s or but’s about it. Next question…”

Let’s start the new year off right

Posted: January 6, 2011 by Jacky in News

We ring in the New Year with Redpath. We’re playing on Rink 2 @ 9:30. Let’s start the year on a winning note and show these guys we can play with them!

#78 Andrew HAS THE ICE COLD BEER! (Marky P will be backup)

Greg is out with a severe case of American Tribaditis, so we’ll be calling up Scott from the farm again.